This is for Me

When I first started my blog, I had full intention to turn it into some Fashionable Girl or even a Cute Girl blog.


But what the heck?


Got the results for the competition that I said I'd entered in the last 2 post.


I didn't get it.






Yeah, this sucks.


I feel like such a fool.


And what hurts more is the fact that I see this competition so highly.
I thought this competition would send my self esteem rocket high.
But it actually bury me deeper than where I was.


I really thought I had a chance with this.
*chuckle* With my killer dress.


But...
Maybe I wasn't good enough.


But, for now, I'm all right.


I am giving myself a rest right now.



Am certainly not trying to publicly humiliate myself even further.
But I want this post to serve as a remind to myself.


That no matter how sucky thing is, the sun will still rise tomorrow.
I know that everything is still going on.


Time is still ticking.
Demi's song is playing unless I hit the pause button.


Even a more cliche quote,"the earth is still rotating".


But for now, I am giving myself a rest.


Away from Books(heh, such lame excuse not to study), Phone, Internet.


And even away from my own thoughts.


Yeah, it might hurt more that what I had expected in the chest.
But heck, everything is still moving on.


I'm just gonna go lay in my bed now.


And maybe, just maybe.
Pause my feelings for now.

Dreadful

I'm in a dreadful phase now.
It's like a blood sucking leech keep on hanging to your body.

Sorry for turning down a lot of invitation.
And please don't say I'm bias.

I would go out with my baby, my bestie joann and turn down all others is because I'm tired.
I'm tired okay?
I'm mentally tired from what happen in my house, and when I wake up in the morning, I'm left with nothing but a low battery condition.
I'm not fit to entertain anyone right now, let alone please anyone.

So, please.
I'm not asking for forgiveness or understanding.
Please don't say I'm bias or that I always blew off promises.

It's a really tough time for me now.

p.s. Now, I'm gonna bath and have a nice lunch with my bestie JoAnn.

p.s.s And why would I choose the 2 of them to spent time with? It's because they're the ones who truly care and they're the one who stood by my side whenever something happen. They're important to me.

If I don't need you why am I crying on my bed?
If you're not mine, will I have the strength to stand at all?
I don't know why you're so far away.
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it.
I don't understand.
Cause I miss you.
Body and soul so strong that it takes my breathe away.
And I breath you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today.
Cause I love you.
Whether it's wrong or right.
Though I can't be with you tonight.
You know my heart is by your side.

I am so sorry, I'm really not interested in any sort of communication.

p.s. I really have a pronounced tendency to want to hear you more, see you more, meet you more, just want you more. Thus resulting me shutting off my phone and blocking off all sort of communication.

p.s.s. Every time I wanted to call you, I bit my tongue and tell myself not to bother you. Crying myself to sleep every night has become a standard procedure.

Not Knowing

I didn't know you care for me that much.
I really didn't know.
Sorry for not noticing all along.
Sorry, sorry.
I really am a fool.

There was this one time, when I first join the 'pengawas', and I got into YueYing's group. By the third day, Manda came by to see how was I doing. YueYing was talking to me that moment. After YueYing left, Manda said to me:" Shien, you're ajk really like you a lot ar". I was like:"Huh?"

Apparently, you see, I'm not that smart.
I really couldn't pick up hints.
Or maybe I really am that dumb.

A lot of people has been caring for me behind my back for a very long time now.
I really couldn't understand, why like this?

If you care about me, just tell me that you care.
If I still don't understand or don't know, SHOUT to me.
"STUPID SHIEN, I CARE ABOUT YOU!"

That way, I'll sure know.

I don't want this.
I don't want to always find out that people care about me behind my back.
I don't want to find out myself.
I really don't want this kind of situation anymore.

I hate you for making my heart ache.
I hate you for making me miss you now.
I hate you for MAKING ME LOVE YOU EVEN MORE!!!

(p.s. Stop spreading rumours about me. I'm not liking any form 5 guys. What now?)

I really didn't know about this before.
I had never think of myself popular.
I just thought that I'd met many friendly friends in my life.

再多的心意也好,要是没有传达给对方的话, 所有的心意都等于零吧.

Holiday

Went for a meeting about choir status yesterday after school.

Wooo... Reality really hit you in the heart hard.
Still couldn't get an answer from my head.
Still would like to hit my head with a stick.

That why I'm so determine that this coming holiday, I'm going to enjoy myself EVERYDAY. Although I had said that I'll tell them(fellow choir members) my decision of should we go on before this holiday ends, but I really want to clear my mind right now.

Lately I would go to bed very very early. Isn't that shocking? I used to be a night owl, and I wouldn't be sleeping until it's 2 or 3 in the morning.

If I got time, I would go to my bedroom and put on DOngBang oppa(DongBangShinKI) music on out loud.

Hey, I really find that this way really work, when you turn up the volume of any music, it's very loud, that way you can't hear yourself think. You're forced to listen to the loud music. That way, maybe I'll feel better. You can even scream or shout in your room coz no one will hear you under the loud music. Good idea right?

Then I would go to sleep.

Feel like now I'm watching the world pass me by but with the volume turn down. Didn't know that I was that weak. I really don't want to to anything except for sleep. I really don't know what to do right now.

p.s. Thanks anonymous for your message, but I still don't know what's right now.

Happy holidays everyone.

(This is the most lousy near-birthday-days in my life. Really though that no one would remember my birthday.)

我累了

First thing I noticed this morning was my swell eyes. When I went to school, some of my friends asked me why was my eyes so sore. I replied them with a smile and said that I lack of sleep. Hah, what a lie.

Choir club is going to close down next year.

Actually I got to know this news quite some time dy. Didn't know that it would hurt that much.

Not bad mah, my eyes already so small dy. There are still people that could see that my eyes are sore. Hah, what is that word in Chinese again? Yup, 肿.

I don't want to know about the real hidden reason that the school is closing us down, but the reason they gave me was that my club lack of 'ahli active'. What the? We need 30 ahli active to continue on the club.

Don't act like you know more than me.
Don't act like you care about the club more than I do.

I admit, I was so innocent thinking that managing a club would be easy and simple. I always though that being a president means leading a group of people, having good relationship with your team members and planning some real good and fun program. Turn out that I was wrong. It's more than that.

I always think that not having enough 'ahli active' is not a problem. I thought that maybe other people aren't interested in singing and that if I have done my own job properly, people would know and see that I'm actually capable of doing something and that I'm actually good. So I'm kinda a failure huh?

TeckKiong was right today in computer lesson. I told him about this problem. And he said that it's the president fault. After hearing he said that, I stood up and walked out from the computer room. Deep inside I know that TeckKiong is right. I knew it really is my fault. But can't I just not hear it for now?

Some friends knew about this matter and had came to asked me if I was all right. I really wanted to said that "NO, I'M NOT ALL RIGHT". And then fall into their arms and cry as much as I want. But I'm not a kid anymore. And I had cried so much last night. Seeing that my friends caring about me makes me want to cry even more. It was a really hard time hanging out at school.

I'm really scare right now. I also tried to keep myself busy all the time, coz if I have the time to stop and really think about what's really happening, I'm afraid that I'll break down and cry again.

I really don't know what to do right now. Should I continue and find 30 members or should I just let it be?

In a very blank state right now. It this a dead end?

Really want to hit my head with a stick until I'm unconscious. Maybe that way I'll get an answer.

My birthday... Gone...

I'm having my Korean lesson starting today at 7.30 to 9. Every Tuesday and Thursday. Well, the problem is that the text book cost Rm150++. And I'll be paying it MYSELF using my birthday money.

See, every year my mother will be giving me 'angpao' money for our birthday according to our age. So, this year, I'll be 16, so I'll be receiving RM160. While my brother will get RM190 for his. Actually, I'm already low on money after buying my friends cake and birthday present using my own money. I don't even have the money to buy present for my brother birthday which is today.

And I'm looking forward to this RM160 so that I can go celebrate with my friends or family on my birthday.

Seriously, that I mean I'm

If you're curious, what I'm actually feeling now is...

Going crazy. Maybe. Maybe.

To All the Ones I LOVE.

Please don't cry.
Don't ever cry.
Please don't waste it.
Keep your tears.
I don't want your tears.
Don't cry no more.

Seeing someone I deeply love crying in front of me the other day, I... I cried too seeing that person cry. I was hurt seeing that person got hurt. And today, another person whom I truly loved cried. And I was like crying again with that person.

I mean, what the? I'm not even crying for myself. I'm crying for other people. You know when the one you love so much is sad, you will naturally feel sad about it too. That's what I'm feeling now.

-Like last year, when Amanda sms me to tell me her boyfriend was cheating on her. I knew something was wrong with that sms, I quickly phone her to see what's going on. When she picked up the phone, she was calling out my name loudly and crying. Well, for a moment, I was shocked, so so shocked. Then the next thing I know, I was crying with her while comforting her through the phone.
-Also last year, forgot what happen dy, Man was crying in the class. I lend her my shoulder for her to cry. Then I was crying too seeing her sad face.
-Ah hah, and this year, Mei cried too in the toilet. Shit man! She rushed out of the class and I totally knew something was wrong, and I found out that she's crying. Oh my... And for a while in there, I did cry for a short time, then the both of us went back to class.

See? See? See? You know how this really effects me. Uhh hmm, so to all my friends, if you want to know if I love you, cry in front of me and then wait for my reaction if I'm crying too. Hah, joking. Joking. JOKING.

Really, the person I love crying in front of me have a very big effect on me. I feel that same kind of hurt too. Seeing their crying face, it's like someone is punching my heart. If you know what I mean. I'll do anything to protect the ones that I love.



So, to all the ones that I love,

Don't cry.

No crying no more.

Please don't ever cry.

I really don't want your tears.

Keep them.

I'll always be here.

我不要哭,也不会哭...

(知道哭泣会影响他人, 今天我黄丽贤下定决心不再哭泣!

至少不在其他人面前...)

p.s. hah, coz I'm STRONG! (^O^)/

Holiday comes at the RIGHT time

Went for LP( Lembaga Pengerusi)'s MP(Majlis Perpisahan) this morning. Me and XiaoYing are the food committee member. Everything kinda went out of order, XiaoYing broke down and cry many times. I just stood there to let her calm herself down. To me, I've always hate mp because they waste my time. That's why I actually don't feel angry or sad, I just felt shocked seeing the amount of people that came. But I did go, and the mp ended quite well. So, everything is okay to me.

When I was waiting for my mama to come pick me up, I saw Man walking towards me. Then when she saw me, she began to run. Hmm? Is she running towards me? Or somebody else? I quickly stop eagerly waiting for her to do what she wants to do. She hugged me the moment she is in front of me. Hmm, ya, I kinda know what she's feeling down about. Man ar, everything is all right lar. It's really not your fault. You really did a great job~~~

My piano class was canceled today coz I was too tired to go for it. I really miss my piano and my teacher a lot.

p.s. Saw some news about my DongBAng oppas( Dong BAng Shin Ki), I don't really know what I'm feeling now. Ya, for the first time in my life, I don't know what I'm feeling now. And it's not even about a boy. Okay lar, it's about boys, but they are not technically MY BOYS. Haiz, don't know what to think.

p.s.s I don't even know what I'm feeling now and it certainly doesn't feel good.

If this is real,
then I don't believe in destiny or faith or life or whatever kind of bs.
If this will make me lose you,
then I'll go against the whole world.
I wonder if I could love you in a right way.

I just want to be left alone to stay blank.
Holiday came at a right time just for me to be in my own world.

So SICK about it.

So guess that he's more important than me huh?
You know I gave you the world.
So why your love went away?
Though it was me and you until the end,
but guess I was wrong.

Don't wanna think about it.
Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm just so sick about it.
Just so confused about it.
Feeling the blues about it.
Tell me is this fair?

I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy.
What goes around comes around.

You really broke my heart this time, don't know how am I going to forgive you.
Don't be shock when I walk out of your life completely.
If this continue to happen, that day of me walking away will really come.

Thinking back and now here I am here thinking why am I so stupid.
I look at myself and ask why am I so stupid.
I won't do it anymore.

Why do I feel like such a coward now?

眷恋...

把爱深埋在记忆中　说不出口一种难过
給祝福太多　不能覆盖我的痛
你要转身你要走　不再多作停留
分開是誰說沒什麽　最难的决定是放手
眼中的落寞　说的都是我的错
当你笑着挥挥手　你的沉默我懂
請別說愛我 推我向晴天
最溫暖的天空 卻換了季節
在絕望的面前 灑落一地心碎
就算是伤悲　 我不想太狼狈
请别说爱我　别許下心愿
下一秒就出现　你给的纪念
风吹过了思念　曾有过的眷恋
哭紅了雙眼　
再让我心痛一天

Couldn't say anything more personal. This song is how I feel right now... Damn, I'm really going crazy now.

Huh?

What good is LOVE when it keep on hurting me?

Heart Broken(again)

Today, Geetha told me a very shocking news. Actually it's still about the same guy who told my classmates that I was the one who 'kejar' him first. Now the news had gotten bigger, even people I don't know are talking like I'm the one who make the first move. Come on lar... How long do you want me to suffer? Speechless.. What I have done wrong to you? First it was our classmate who thought like that, I was okay, because I knew that there are still friends who believe me. Now, the news was like spreading to other people. Really want to shout out loudly!!! Did I did anything wrong... Why did you keep telling other people the other kind of story? REAL SAD right now... I don't want to go to school lately... I don't want to go into my class... Don't want to look at his face... Don't want to listen to his voice... DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT ME!!! You are really breaking my heart right now...... I'm straight falling...

Thinking back, I was really stupid. This love, never again will love. I won't do it. I look at myself and ask why am I so stupid. No more you in my heart. Someone must be out there willing to comfort me. This love, now trying to forget. With time it will go away. With memories, it's evidence why my heart hurts. The memory and the past, fly far, far away behind the clouds.

被别人误会的时候,我不爱和别人解释,究其原因,就是不爱解释...我只会转头走人,懒得和你争辩下去...

I'm NOT that kind of GIRL!我多情而不滥情!!!

Fighting DREAMERS

Don't know why, couldn't sleep, decided to write something. Hah, running out of ideas lately. These days, it's kinda boring too. Nothing excited happen. I mean, I kinda wish to see some scenes that are only acted out in movies. There was a convention for application for college and university, me and Mei went to a few of the booth. Mei was going to take engineering and I... Well, I'm not sure yet... Um, business and interior design, I guess...

I'm not worry about my future, I know that I can be what I what coz this is my life. But what about my friends? Mei wants to go for STPM(form 6), I want to go for A levels. Guess that we all are going to separate path way in not too long time...

Damn, I'm already starting to MISS my friends now.

Hah, why am I suddenly so emo? No, I'm not going to cry when we are separated, that's my promise to myself. I mean it was hard enough for me, during last year year end holiday, Amanda and Man came to my house during the last day of school. When they was going back home, I was leaning against the door asking the both of them:"When will we meet again?" The two of them smiled at me and said:" Silly girl, we can meet up anytime we want". Ya, haha, maybe.

So, why am I fussing about now? Guess I love you all too much to ever let you all go... Man, Mei...... There are still time, let's all enjoy it and not let any of these moments past through our fingers.

I'm okay~~ I'm really all right~~~ Life is ours to be spend not to be saved. We'll all FLY higher than the weather. Coz we are FIGHTING DREAMERS!!! We can damn well do anything!

Love, love you all. ALWAYS.

AloNe

Eating Cup Noodle(curry flavour) by MYSELF... (x_x；)

Clean End

What had happen today was not so important, what's really on my mind right now is what happen below my hills. Um, I live in a house up in a hill. I'm going to try to keep it short of this long ranting post...

After school, he continually followed me to pengawas room. And as it was Monday, I always tend to go home early on Monday. I stick around in the pengawas room coz I know that he's waiting for me outside the room. I waited for XueEr to come.

And as Eva, Man and TeckKiong could guess. He followed me home. Yes, he FOLLOWED me. To the bus station, on the bus. XueEr was kind enough to offer me to go to her house, but I said no coz, what's going to happen is still going to happen, why dodge it? I think that it's time to come clean now.

Reached my house, actually is not my house, just below the hills, he was still following me. I stop and stare at him. I asked him what do he want. Then out of the blues, he confessed his feelings to me, asking me to be his girlfriend. The third act twist: The unexpected declaration of love. Then at the down hill under the hot sun, we stood there for like god knows how long coz I keep on talking. Finally he walked off, I walked up the hills.

No need to be excited. I did not accept his proposal. I'm really surprised with myself for telling him my answer straight away, and I didn't even think twice about it. I'm shocked, my own self. It's like no, I don't want it. NO.... I didn't even want to think about giving a chance or anything. Oh my... It's there something wrong with me? I must say, I'm really impressed by his courage. Most of the guys just say throughout the phone, but he was like so bold.

Let me explain myself here, I don't care if nobody reads my blog but I must say what's on my mind right now. First of all, I like my single life very much. Yes, I'm not afraid to admit it, I enjoy my single life, just being with friends and my family. Next, I have my own thing that I want to do, dreams that I want to chase, I couldn't let some guy tie me down. And third, he is in the same class with me, and I need to see his face for like two more years, how can I eat and shit at the same place? Get my drift now?

Well, I think that I'm actually a secretive hypocrite. I could tell myself one million reason not to be with him, but actually it's just one little problem that cause all these reason: I'm just not that into him. It's not that I have high taste or anything, it's just that I just don't feel for him. That's the naked truth. Sorry I had to say it like that.

I'm tired of everyone misunderstanding. I compensate like mad the last time, but no, this won't do anymore. I want my own space. All of you keep saying that we are together, it doesn't mean that we will really be together. I know you all care for me, but this really have nothing to do with you all. When I have my boyfriend, I would let you all know, okay? That's a promise.

And I'm really sorry. I really am sorry. I had hurt someone deeply today. (ﾉ_･｡)

Finally a clean end.

Hate Goodbyes...

Nothing special. Went to school. Went for tuition. Came back home.

Initially I wanted to write a long post but this is the first time that I don't have the feeling to write anything at all. What's wrong with me? Feel like crying now... All these things happening to me lately is really eating me up... God, I'm just a teenager, heck a kid even. Don't you think that giving me all these tasks for me to accomplish is just too much for me? I would really want to find a place and hide in there. Give me time to heal...

I couldn't get hold of what's important to me and yet I'm still working my butt off to please everyone that's around me. Wake up! WONG LI SHIEN! Wake up! Why am I always letting what means the most to me walking away? This is just too much... Too much! Too much for me to bear. What do you think I am? A robot? Or do you think that I'm a child who doesn't think much? Come on, I'm a human, no matter how strong I am, that doesn't mean that I'm IMMUNE to pain all right? God, what is wrong with me? Oh my... Why am I even talking like that?

Stop bugging me. I don't know how to pretend to care for someone when I don't. I totally knows what event tomorrow is. I clearly choose not to.

I can't even hold onto things that belong to me, what more can I do? I'm so useless. No more compensating from now on...

那有过的是什么?
心里的忐忑用力抱着慢慢就会好的...
双手还有热......
时间跟我说会好的...

Staring at the clear blue sky, thinking what exactly had I lost.

I stand by my decision.

我会勇敢抱着.

A liitle too LATE...

You- the highlight of today's post, ya, for you. Wait, it's not for someone I like. It's for my best friend. Nah, ex best friend. I'm not writing your name here, it's not because I'm a coward and I have no courage to do it, I just think that exposing your name here will be a humiliation to you, that's why I wouldn't write down your name here.

Because this situation entails a long history of things, a very complicated web of factors and effects and I can only fit so much, content and feelings-wise, into a blog post, I am going to attempt to write this in a way that does not pass judgment on my ex best friend. What I am going to do, however, since I’m allowed to anyway, is pass judgment on myself.

The thing is that I like your best friend, and I felt that you were treating me coldly after you had known I like him. We fought. We argued. And now we are on our own separate path.

I did not fight with you because of a boy, I choose to left coz you're were treating me like shit when you found out I like your best friend. I don't care do you like him or not. And I'm not mad at you, I'm just shocked that you told Geetha that it's like my fault and I'm the one whose with the green jealousy monster. What the? We had our problem from long back.

It may seem simple from what I am writing, but trust me, to fully understand what I'm saying here, you(readers) would have to assume how my ex best friend felt when the incident happened, and multiply it by ten. Then you'll get the gravity of this situation.

I cried day and night for a whole week after fighting with you. Wait, we were not fighting coz you were so cold to me that time, you wouldn't even bother to talk to me. What? And now you said that you feel sad because of how our relationship ended. Babe, you're the one who choose this path. You wanted the guy, so I walk out of the picture. That's it, end of story. After burning the book I had prepared for you for two months, I already told myself not to have any hard feeling towards this relationship anymore. But now... You want to come back to my life? Don't you think it's a little too late?

Last year I had always blow off Mei's appointments just to be with you. Ya, hard to believe right? Mei was my best friend ever and I could even blow her off just to do things with you. Now you know how much you mean to me right? But now... I know... I realized... What I did to Mei was wrong. Plain wrong. I shouldn't just call off all the date with her just because of someone who doesn't care for me. Do you? Do you care for me? I don't think so...

Don't try to say that I didn't want to work things out. I did. I tried lots and lots of times. But you were still cold towards me. And finally, one day, I just simply doesn't want to try anymore. I gave up. I just couldn't take it anymore.

Truth be told, I like you very much. And now I do still like you. Love you even. We were once so close, do you think that I could just erase that feeling? All that connection and ties are still around. When I talk to you today, I do miss all the good times we had together. I do! I seriously miss all those moments. Nah, I miss you even more. But could we get back together like the old days?

No, not today. Not tomorrow. Not now... Maybe in the future, yes. But no, not now... We're still friends but not best friends anymore. Not now... Not now...

I had already moved on with my life, had my own friends, had my own things to do. I was just doing fine these past months after the incident and now you want to mess it up again? Don't you think that I had suffered enough four months ago? Please leave me alone.

I do want to apologize, for walking out of your life like that. We had not sat down and really talk about us, but I think we don't need it. I'm sorry. I REALLY AM SORRY. Maybe I had overreacted and maybe I was the one with the problem. Sorry I couldn't give you all the support a good friend could give. I sincerely wish you happiness. And thanks for all the memories.

SORRY SORRY SORRY.

All of the things above are purely my own opinions, I would not pass any judgement on my ex best friend in a million years. And yes, I really don't know about your story from your side, but I don't see any point in knowing now. What had past, let it be. I don't want to go back into it again. Let's move on with the both of our life, we would not pull each other anymore now...

p.s. You're an amazing person. An amazing friend. We were just not meant to be.

Don't wanna try. Don't wanna try. Don't wanna try no more.

My VoiCe......

Sunday...

Argh... Woke up at eleven something, after 'lepak'ing in the house, went to lrt station... Sat from Taman Melati to Taman Bahagia. After reached there, Aunty Pam came pick me up. Yup, today I'm giving tuition again to sweet little Bridget~~~ It was fun and cool. Aish, came back home at five something. Went to eat dinner with koko, papa, WenLi jiejie and Aunty Frans(papa's girlfriend). We ate McDonald's. Ayee~~~ Long time no eat dy.

Just now went To Evava blog, saw her recent article. Felt sorry for her. I really do. And I kinda feel angry nowadays too. Coz don't know why all the s4 students are acting crazy lately. You all kept saying the two of us are together, it doesn't mean that the two of us will really be together... Shit... Why am I like that... Sorry... I apologize... I know you all care for me, but I really feel like I'm suffocating right now...

My voice isn't getting any better from the last time I'm sick... Instead of getting angry... I'm getting more and more FRUSTRATE everyday! Ugh... Where is my voice? What's wrong? Although I can speak in my normal tone now... I still can't sing... Shit... What's happening??? My own sky is falling down on me... Are you kidding me? Every night I prayed, with no prove anyone could hear... I want to sing again... My voice...

Evava- cheer up! I'll always be here for you~~~ Sometimes, some friends can just suck... But what you've lost wouldn't be more than what's in your hand right now~ I'll be cheering for you gal~~~ Rock on!

Man- have you got the phone number yet? Waiting for your good news~~~ I'll be cheering for you too~~~ Always~~~ Love ya~~~ My best friend~~~

p.s. I really need some comforting...
Must remember to buy a story book for Bridget~

Please... I'm breaking down now...

Stupid ME...

Sorry for being away for the last two days.

On Sunday-7/6/2009
In the morning, me, Mama, koko, Auntie Ivy(mama's friend) and Eugene(her son), the five of us drove down to Taiping after eating the delicious 'pan mien'. We reached there at about two something, we went for lunch then we rest at the hotel. At about five thirty something, we meet up with Mama another friend- Auntie Pat and his son Daniel and Shawn(Daniel's friend) and we went to have seafood dinner. After that, we went to the infamous Night Safari. Actually is a zoo, you just go in at night time, that's the difference. The zoo trip was very very fun, all of us are having fun. We laughed. We talked. Haha~~~

Monday-8/6/2009
After having lunch in Taiping, went back to KL straight after that. we reached home at about five something. After bathing, me and Mama went to Damansara to see Yima Linda for dinner at seven. We meet up with Yima, Mana, Moe and Kosuke. We went for porridge. Then we went to 1U to buy some shoes coz all of my shoes are 'broken' by me. Went back home.

Mana & Moe- Miss you all so much. We all had fun during the shopping right? Haha~~~ Sorry that I couldn't follow the two of you today coz I promise to go out with some friends or should I say one friend. Let's get together some times. I always have fun with you all.

Stupid me, really stupid me. Feel really useless now. What the? You don't even care about the trip that is going on today. What am I doing this for? I really though that I was making a difference. So all in the end it's just me and my foolish dream? Ya, maybe. This whole world is not about you and you only. If you don't wanna come, just don't. Don't play with me. I though that I could just have fun with all of you.

Still choosing should I go for the outing afterwards. I still want to go coz it's for s4 students, and even though none are coming, it's still for them. I don't want to go now coz I don't feel good about it.

I'm going to go...

I really should care about people that care about me.

Just walk away, stop telling me your reason.

You(all of you) really broke my heart this time.

JUST WALK AWAY.