Clean End

What had happen today was not so important, what's really on my mind right now is what happen below my hills. Um, I live in a house up in a hill. I'm going to try to keep it short of this long ranting post...

After school, he continually followed me to pengawas room. And as it was Monday, I always tend to go home early on Monday. I stick around in the pengawas room coz I know that he's waiting for me outside the room. I waited for XueEr to come.

And as Eva, Man and TeckKiong could guess. He followed me home. Yes, he FOLLOWED me. To the bus station, on the bus. XueEr was kind enough to offer me to go to her house, but I said no coz, what's going to happen is still going to happen, why dodge it? I think that it's time to come clean now.

Reached my house, actually is not my house, just below the hills, he was still following me. I stop and stare at him. I asked him what do he want. Then out of the blues, he confessed his feelings to me, asking me to be his girlfriend. The third act twist: The unexpected declaration of love. Then at the down hill under the hot sun, we stood there for like god knows how long coz I keep on talking. Finally he walked off, I walked up the hills.

No need to be excited. I did not accept his proposal. I'm really surprised with myself for telling him my answer straight away, and I didn't even think twice about it. I'm shocked, my own self. It's like no, I don't want it. NO.... I didn't even want to think about giving a chance or anything. Oh my... It's there something wrong with me? I must say, I'm really impressed by his courage. Most of the guys just say throughout the phone, but he was like so bold.

Let me explain myself here, I don't care if nobody reads my blog but I must say what's on my mind right now. First of all, I like my single life very much. Yes, I'm not afraid to admit it, I enjoy my single life, just being with friends and my family. Next, I have my own thing that I want to do, dreams that I want to chase, I couldn't let some guy tie me down. And third, he is in the same class with me, and I need to see his face for like two more years, how can I eat and shit at the same place? Get my drift now?

Well, I think that I'm actually a secretive hypocrite. I could tell myself one million reason not to be with him, but actually it's just one little problem that cause all these reason: I'm just not that into him. It's not that I have high taste or anything, it's just that I just don't feel for him. That's the naked truth. Sorry I had to say it like that.

I'm tired of everyone misunderstanding. I compensate like mad the last time, but no, this won't do anymore. I want my own space. All of you keep saying that we are together, it doesn't mean that we will really be together. I know you all care for me, but this really have nothing to do with you all. When I have my boyfriend, I would let you all know, okay? That's a promise.

And I'm really sorry. I really am sorry. I had hurt someone deeply today. (ﾉ_･｡)

Finally a clean end.