A liitle too LATE...

You- the highlight of today's post, ya, for you. Wait, it's not for someone I like. It's for my best friend. Nah, ex best friend. I'm not writing your name here, it's not because I'm a coward and I have no courage to do it, I just think that exposing your name here will be a humiliation to you, that's why I wouldn't write down your name here.

Because this situation entails a long history of things, a very complicated web of factors and effects and I can only fit so much, content and feelings-wise, into a blog post, I am going to attempt to write this in a way that does not pass judgment on my ex best friend. What I am going to do, however, since I’m allowed to anyway, is pass judgment on myself.

The thing is that I like your best friend, and I felt that you were treating me coldly after you had known I like him. We fought. We argued. And now we are on our own separate path.

I did not fight with you because of a boy, I choose to left coz you're were treating me like shit when you found out I like your best friend. I don't care do you like him or not. And I'm not mad at you, I'm just shocked that you told Geetha that it's like my fault and I'm the one whose with the green jealousy monster. What the? We had our problem from long back.

It may seem simple from what I am writing, but trust me, to fully understand what I'm saying here, you(readers) would have to assume how my ex best friend felt when the incident happened, and multiply it by ten. Then you'll get the gravity of this situation.

I cried day and night for a whole week after fighting with you. Wait, we were not fighting coz you were so cold to me that time, you wouldn't even bother to talk to me. What? And now you said that you feel sad because of how our relationship ended. Babe, you're the one who choose this path. You wanted the guy, so I walk out of the picture. That's it, end of story. After burning the book I had prepared for you for two months, I already told myself not to have any hard feeling towards this relationship anymore. But now... You want to come back to my life? Don't you think it's a little too late?

Last year I had always blow off Mei's appointments just to be with you. Ya, hard to believe right? Mei was my best friend ever and I could even blow her off just to do things with you. Now you know how much you mean to me right? But now... I know... I realized... What I did to Mei was wrong. Plain wrong. I shouldn't just call off all the date with her just because of someone who doesn't care for me. Do you? Do you care for me? I don't think so...

Don't try to say that I didn't want to work things out. I did. I tried lots and lots of times. But you were still cold towards me. And finally, one day, I just simply doesn't want to try anymore. I gave up. I just couldn't take it anymore.

Truth be told, I like you very much. And now I do still like you. Love you even. We were once so close, do you think that I could just erase that feeling? All that connection and ties are still around. When I talk to you today, I do miss all the good times we had together. I do! I seriously miss all those moments. Nah, I miss you even more. But could we get back together like the old days?

No, not today. Not tomorrow. Not now... Maybe in the future, yes. But no, not now... We're still friends but not best friends anymore. Not now... Not now...

I had already moved on with my life, had my own friends, had my own things to do. I was just doing fine these past months after the incident and now you want to mess it up again? Don't you think that I had suffered enough four months ago? Please leave me alone.

I do want to apologize, for walking out of your life like that. We had not sat down and really talk about us, but I think we don't need it. I'm sorry. I REALLY AM SORRY. Maybe I had overreacted and maybe I was the one with the problem. Sorry I couldn't give you all the support a good friend could give. I sincerely wish you happiness. And thanks for all the memories.

SORRY SORRY SORRY.

All of the things above are purely my own opinions, I would not pass any judgement on my ex best friend in a million years. And yes, I really don't know about your story from your side, but I don't see any point in knowing now. What had past, let it be. I don't want to go back into it again. Let's move on with the both of our life, we would not pull each other anymore now...

p.s. You're an amazing person. An amazing friend. We were just not meant to be.

Don't wanna try. Don't wanna try. Don't wanna try no more.