Before I put this to an End

If there is people reading this, that means I've actually worked up the courage to write this.

So, um, good for me.

Anyhow, because year end is dawning and before I put this year to an end, there's 2 person I've to have some closure with.

Well, the chances for both for them to read this is minimum, and it probably shows that I'm such a coward to write it here than talk it out.

But, what the hell?

There's no easy way saying this, so I'm just gonna say it.

So here goes nothing.

Amanda:

You and me. Hmm... Where should I start? I could say that our love is like a song. Well, was like a song. But somewhere along the line, I wouldn't sing along. I couldn't. Not anymore. Looking back from now, I have no heck of a idea why I ran. At that time, all I knew best was to run. Maybe it was too much to bear, that's why I ran. Maybe I was a coward. You were the sister I'd never had and always wanted to have. I'll apologize to you face to face if I've work up the courage last year. Now things seems to have past and it'll be a hypocrite of me to do that. So...... What am I talking about? Anyhow, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't stay long enough to hear out the whole story. I'm sorry I didn't stay put and show you that I would fight for you as I had in many of our experience. So, wherever you are, be strong ya girl. You know I love you so.

JiaMei:

Now in my version. I'm the total Bitch that f*cked up other people relationship. But honestly, I've only felt remorse it's because I could not turn back our relationship. I have no regret choosing to be with ZhiYan. Well, okay....... I'm lying. Sometimes when all the world is sleeping, I would stay up and think of my wrong doing. Anyhow. Our relationship wasn't strong to start with, and when it crumbles, there's nothing in the base to hold on to it. I remember talking to you right before I got together with him, and the response I get is total heart ache. I tried, tried, tried an tried. But you wouldn't even hear me out. So...... All I want to say now is that I hope you'll lead a happy life.

Now, all that is done.

I feel more better.

I just hate the guilt trip that's building up in me.

I know I've did my best at that point of time to save the relationship, or it's just something I tell myself so I could sleep better at night.

Well, even if it's something I tell myself every night before I sleep, it's still my life I'm leading, in the end, the only person to care about to be happy is still me.

I'm sorry for being such a bitch.

(I've wanted to say that long enough)

Anyhow, me, LiShien is going to enjoy her Christmas now.

p.s. Thank you for being in my life once.