:)

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

And what's on the other side?

Rainbows are vision but illusions.

And rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe.

I know they're wrong.

Wait and see.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.

The lovers, the dreamers, and me. :)

Unusual phobias

haphephobia
-fear of being touch

doraphobia
-fear of touching the fur of animal

eremophobia
-morbid dread of being alone

ergophobia
-a fear of to work

hypnophobia
-morbid fear to sleep

brontophobia
-an abnormal fear of thunder

kakorrhaphiophobia
-an abnormal fear of failure

ophidiophobia
-fear of snakes

taphephobia
-fear of being buried alive

phobophobia
-an excessive fear of acquiring a phobia

Anonymous, letting you go.

Read your comment you left for me. Silent suffering and having each other back turn on to each other ain't that easy after all. After all, melting down and crying would be such a childish move to do now.

There are always two side to both story. I surely didn't want to know your side from way back. Ya, maybe I was a coward after all. Knowing that if I was the one who royally messed up our relationship, I would be more knocked down by now. It's just to much to bear. No need to apologize. It's still okay to say these things till now. Thank you for letting me hear your piece of mind.

You have know me for quite a while now, you know how my personality is and you surely are more clever than me ten times. I think you sort of know what I want to do now. Ya, walking away is what I do best in. But this time... This time... I don't want to walk away anymore.

How can we stay friends when we don't even trust each other right now? How can we understand each other when we'll clamp up each time taking about each other? Most importantly, how can we find back the trust we once have between us? Is already broken, and I don't think it's an easy job to fix it back.

I won't say things like 'Oh, so, wanna be friends again?' The both of us are so over that age to pretend not to be friends or being friends. Truth be told right, I don't even know what I want right now. Being back friend is not as simple as it looks like. Sure, we can be back friends, but can we stay friends and maintain our relationship once more?

Maybe I was the one with the problem. Maybe I was the one with all the drama. Maybe I was the one who think too much. Maybe... And just maybe... I was the one who changed... I was the one who changed that much during all these time.

I am not a cold b*tch with no feelings, I do feel all right. And it's hard for me to say I still love you right now. But I do want the best for you.

Turn around and look carefully, see all those steps we took? All those steps that make us what we are today. It's still very clear to me. We have manage to live our life without each other so far, at first it was really heart breaking, but now, I don't think it's that bad after all. You have your own life, I have mine. There's no turning back now. I have chosen the steps I want, and deep inside I know you've already chosen too no matter what the choice is.

No need to act normal. You are normal. We are normal. Sorry I was so inconsiderate this whole time. All I ask for now, is to grow strong together. And maybe... Maybe... Our wounds will heal that way.

Hope that when people ask of me in front of you, you would say something like " Ya, I once know her, she's someone great". Not something like "Oh, ya, I know her, what a b*tch". Hah, I'm not making any sense right now huh? And I hope that you would think of me once in a while. And when you think of me, I hope that the things that you think of are good things.

Of course, I'll think of you too. All the connection and ties are still around. Going to the zoo together, rushing home after taking picture while your mother is waiting for us, coming to my house to make cookies, playing badminton, you choosing my clothes for me for my date, playing that scary game on my ps2, having fortune cookies, going to Mcd, celebrating Man's birthday, the both of us singing in a little k room, my birthday... I will. I really will cherish all of it.

You are really great. A great person. A great friend. But I don't think I want to do this anymore. I'm know that I'm the one with all these problem. I have changed and I don't really want to try anymore. I was your shoulder to cry on when times get bad, your shoulder sure are mine once. But now, I think I have another shoulder to lend and to lean on to now.

I know your point, you saying that you didn't make a choice, sorry I made it sounded so bad. It's all past and history. Let's move on. The both of us. Letting go is what I can give you right now. And letting go is what I want to do right now.

p.s. This is MY blog. I wouldn't be lying on my own blog.

Stay STRONG.(For the sake of both of us)

So True (￣▽+￣*)

Saw this in the net today, very meaningful~~~
It says that:

Don't Worry About The People In Your Past, There's A Reason They Don't Make It To The Future.

Read ThiS

抬起头来不要再自我可怜

＼(*｀∧´)／

Tears To ReMember

My eyes are so puffy from crying right now... Wait, wait, wait, it's not that I'm sad, I cried after seeing some DongBangOppa(DBSK, TVXQ, Tohoshinki) videos juz now. Ya, I know, crazy, right?

Morning, went to school as usual. Never went back into the class in the morning coz today i have gate duty that's why I stayed in the pengawas room until 7 something. Went for gate duty with WaiKen and ViYee. Then came CheeBon and Philip. Everything was usual. Maths was usual. Mr.Shukri didn't enter our class again. As usual. Came recess, it was my turn to duty for the bangunan. It was usual also. After recess, chinese lesson, we were writing essay and I was drinking the coffee that my brother made for me in the morning. Then, the smart me spilled some of my coffee onto my chinese essay book. I was so shocked, I juz stare at my coffee stained book, Man was the one who wipe the coffee away. Haha, thanks ya, Man~ Clumsy me, so now my essay book have the coffee scent in it. Sivik teacher didn't came today. Our Malay teacher came back from her maternity leave dy, so it will be her teaching us from now on. After school, after signing out, took the bus with XueEr and Geetha and went back home.

Okay, here is the important part of this blog post. A good news- my husband band(DBSK) had won the best artis award in Korea in the year end of 2008 for their 4th album-Microtic. I mean, I didn't cry after seeing this one, but ChangMIin oopa was crying in the video when they was receiving the award. CONGRATULATION to DongBang oopa!!! They worked hard and they deserved it. Fighting. I was crying after hearing Micky's story. Well, it's a very long story and his parents are divorced(juz like me) and how he and his younger brother survive in America before he came back to Korea to be an artist. Oh my god, so sad. I was crying so hard after watching the video. Then there was this JaeJoong oppa's video where he was acting with an actress. Actually it like a comedy, but I cry in the end when JaeJoong oopa(my husband) said something very sweet and HUG the actress. The girl that he like called him a jerk(so bad!). Then JaeJoong oopa said something like:"Yes, I'm a jerk. I could do anything if I could just have you. Do you know what is miserable to me? That you don't love me. Do you know what's more miserable? That I still I can't give you up." After saying that, he went on his bike and asked the girl to go with him. He said something like this now:" Let's go. Let's go and eat something." The the girl he like said that she already ate. Then JaeJoong oppa throw his helmet on the floor and said:" Do you want to eat? Or do you want me to kiss you? Do you want to eat? Or do you want to sleep with me? Do you want to eat? Or do you want to live with me? Do you want to eat? Or do you want to... No... Or do you want to die with me?" He was saying this sentences so angrily. The actress finally said she wants to eat black bean noodle. Then my husband(JaeJoong oopa) pull the girl hand and hug the girl. I mean it's so sweet and romantic. And it's very TOUCHing too~~~ Ahhhh~~~ Oh my god, I have such soft spot for touchy feeling.

I don't cry in front of my friends and I don't think many people have seen me crying before, but in front of the people I love, I'm a crybaby.

Anyway, enough of all my nonsense. The girl today in the 'smiles of the day' picture(juz beside the blog post) is very cute. My fortune cookie today is:Fortune Favors The Brave. Okay, I'll be more brave the next time. And I like how korean guys voice sounds like when they are scolding or when they are angry. They sound so man. You know, when you're angry, you use a louder voice? I like the loud voice plus the korean words and how it sounds like. That kind of thing. If you understand what I'm saying. Good day everyone. ( Don't know what to do with my eyes.)

p.s. I like touchy feeling~~~ Sky high dream! We'll fly higher that the weather~ I also like the way when my friends called me: SHIEN. I mean, Li Shien is my name,but only my family members called me Shien. So when my friends called me Shien, it feels like I'm very close to them. "Shien, let's go to the toilet-said Mei" "Shien, Bye-said Man" Love my DongBAngOppa. And my family. And my best friends. Muakssss~~~~