Christmas Time

Christmas is COMING!!!
And you know what I did just now?
I stay up late for this...

See this Christmas tree? I just put it out just now. Ain't I a genius? I know it looks kinda weird here but believe me when I say it's really not that bad when you see it in real life. I know, maybe it's because of my awful photo shooting skill. Hah, come on, I'm not born an artist. But I'm still proud of myself.

And I had drawn some random greetings to brighten up the atmosphere. I know it looks ugly. SHUT UP! I like it. It'll sure be a surprise for my family when they wake up tomorrow.

Now, back to the subject.

Why did I put on the Christmas tree?

It's because I feel that my mom and my older brother has always been taking care of me.

So, the least I can do is to cheer up the whole situation and just make the home feel warm and comfortable.

That's the least I can do.

I always tell myself that.

Then why I love Christmas so much?

Well, it's not about the present.

Not about the snow. (Who am I kidding? There ain't no snow in Malaysia.)

At Christmas, or any festive season, you get to celebrate it with your family.

And I think that's the important part of it.

It's not that you only gather around during Christmas but when Christmas comes, it's something special, you know.

Something special to share with your family.

And I don't know how much more Christmas there is for the three of us to gather.

I'm not saying that we're going to die or anything.

But, I know the three of us(mama, my older brother and me) are going to go in different direction in a few years down the road.

My older brother is already 19, and he's going to go to uni next year by anytime.

Even if he's not at uni yet, I can already sense that he's least with me.

I'm not saying that we should stick together and I know that he's not mine to own.

But we are family...

And I'm already 16.

Although it's still early to talk about this, but I do want to study overseas for uni.

I mean not that I want to get out of here.

Malaysia is everything to me.

My whole family is all here, my yimas, and my cousins...

But I want to go out and see the world when I'm young...

And I want to do that when I have the courage...

Go study more about weddings, cakes, dress. That's what I want to do. That's my dream.

And I haven't see them live before. I want to go see their concert alone in the front row with thousand of strangers shouting who like them as much as I do.

And my family... This was taken last year on my birthday.

Every time I talk about my dream with them.
Mama and koko will just nod in agreement and smile.

Maybe if they say something like this:" Shien ar, don't go overseas, study local uni." or something like "Shien ar, stay here lar. Don't go."

Then I'll definitely not go.
But seeing them so supportive, sometimes...
Sometimes it hurts me.

And when mama said that she wanted to be with me more because I wanted to study overboard in a few years time.
I will always said:"It's only a few years, it's not like I'm gone forever. I'll still come back."

Ya, what am I thinking in a middle of the night?
Hah, I still have a long way to go.

So now, Christmas is a time to celebrate.

Gosh, my eyes are so blurry with tears.
My family, they're important to me.
They're my treasure.

And here I am crying while the two of them are sleeping.
I'm really a crybaby.

What I'm trying to say here is, although I fear the future but I still anticipates it?
Or I just wish that time will stop, if not, just slow down.

Anyway, from Christmas tree to weddings to my feelings.
Hah, 9 more days to Christmas.
Am certainly waiting for it.

Night, amigos.
^^

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