Can't say it out loud

I don't know how to say it out loud or how to act it out.
But there's something I really dislike.
Instead of saying or doing anything, I just went on not paying any attention to it.
Because I know the more I care about it, the more worse I feel.

I hate that I still care about something that makes me miserable.

I wonder how will I act when school starts again and I have to face it again once more.
Will I stand up to it?
Or will it be the same as last time?
I don't know.

Hah, what am I saying around this time?
I guess I really like staying up in the middle of the night.
Now it's like all the time is mine and everyone and everything around me is quiet.

喜欢的东西,喜欢的心情
都可以简单地坦率地表现出来。
那为什么不喜欢的感觉那么难表达?
不喜欢他的作风,不喜欢他的话语
这些感觉好像都变成了秘密一样。

我大概是疯了吧?
竟然会想得那么多。
我一定是疯了......

懦弱只会让恶者变本加厉。

或许
有一天
我会把他打飞出去。
或许吧。

In the still of the night.
^^
Night, amigo.

(→这样的我其实很懦弱)