I know this post is way too early for me to write but I keep having this feeling that if I don't do it now, when will I do it.
I had an awesome outing yesterday with my high school mates, but I came back home feeling the opposite of awesome. It seems to me that my ex has a girlfriend now.
My friends would have ask me not to jump into conclusion just based on one picture, but come one, who is naive enough to think that kind of intimacy meant friendship. If that's really just friendship, well, that's hell of a friendship. And when you click to the girl's profile, she had the exact same picture. Now, tell me that doesn't mean anything.
No matter how I look at it now, I was so stupid, pointlessly waiting, pointlessly hoping.
It's only been two months and he already could find another romantic interest, that could mean that I meant nothing to him or that could mean that I still care. I could have come by saying what a jerk or a liar he is, or even I could have went on and bash the girl by saying, "You really think you're my replacement, because I don't see you in his rebound girl catalogue." But the thing is that I am so tired, so tired of everything. Maybe after I have had enough of crying, I will regain some energy to curse the both of them. But then, it hit me, what use will it bring by cursing them intensively, it still wouldn't change the fact that I feel so numb.
I sincerely do hope that girl will treat him well. And I do hope that he is happy.
I always say in a relationship, it is better that the male loves the female more, and because it exactly fits my relationship between me and him, that's why he always felt that I don't love him more than he do, but that doesn't mean I don't love him enough. Action always speaks louder than words, if I really didn't care for him that much, would I have kept all his stuffs together and still think about him and only him.
Now, I'm sitting here, thousand of thoughts running across my head. And all of them are how much longer I need to endure this pain. With all the memories and connections, it is evident why my heart hurts.
It's not him that's not setting me free, he did did so three months back, I think the problem lies with me.Me not being able to let go of everything. When I open up my grasp today, I realized there's nothing in my palm. I've been holding on to nothing. Maybe there was this part of me who was hoping that he'll still come back to me.
This love, is already gone.
And I'm trying hard to forget.
I guess I just have to accept the fact even though I do not understand it.
With time, it will goes away.
But for now, for today, I'll have one last cry.
To the person who will never come back, goodbye.